Tamstigart Fatgovtail is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, charitable gnu.

Tamstigart Fatgovtail created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Tamstigart Fatgovtail, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tamstigart Fatgovtail, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tamstigart Fatgovtail's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tamstigart Fatgovtail's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not take Tamstigart Fatgovtail's name in vain.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tamstigart Fatgovtail.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.