Gumraghudbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable mongoose.

Gumraghudbaf created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Gumraghudbaf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gumraghudbaf, he will remove you from existence.

Gumraghudbaf's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gumraghudbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Gumraghudbaf loves sharks, so they must be respected.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Feed all hungry moths.