Bitnarwig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, staggering ferret.

Bitnarwig created the Virgo Supercluster five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitnarwig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bitnarwig, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Bitnarwig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bitnarwig's Holy Commandments

1. Bitnarwig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never mention mites.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bitnarwig on top of all buildings.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.