Stansandfem Mitcusskem is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate crab.

Stansandfem Mitcusskem created everything that exists three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stansandfem Mitcusskem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Stansandfem Mitcusskem, it will be mildly annoyed.

Stansandfem Mitcusskem's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Stansandfem Mitcusskem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three ants approach from the north.

2. Moths are not to be trusted.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never wear white corsets.