Kimtabgam is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, pitiless squid.

Kimtabgam created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Kimtabgam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kimtabgam, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kimtabgam's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kimtabgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Kimtabgam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always stare at clouds.