Fatxinrutkammiftofratbog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish porpoise.

Fatxinrutkammiftofratbog created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatxinrutkammiftofratbog, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fatxinrutkammiftofratbog, it will think nothing of it.

Fatxinrutkammiftofratbog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fatxinrutkammiftofratbog's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple frogs for they are unholy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.