Bepnillfon is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, duplicitous cat.

Bepnillfon created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepnillfon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bepnillfon, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bepnillfon's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bepnillfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never look in ponds.