Gankiptam Wadkarcad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, witty penguin.

Gankiptam Wadkarcad created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gankiptam Wadkarcad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gankiptam Wadkarcad, he will come to you in dreams.

Gankiptam Wadkarcad's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gankiptam Wadkarcad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine porpoises approach from the west.

2. Never mention dogs.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.