Rillquatteen is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, effective lobster.

Rillquatteen created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rillquatteen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rillquatteen, she will turn you into a worm.

Rillquatteen's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Rillquatteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not take Rillquatteen's name in vain.

4. Always help tortoises.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.