Bamflantin Tipgudbap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous alligator.

Bamflantin Tipgudbap created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamflantin Tipgudbap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bamflantin Tipgudbap, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bamflantin Tipgudbap's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bamflantin Tipgudbap's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Put Bamflantin Tipgudbap first in all things.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Always obey Bamflantin Tipgudbap's priests.