Midgonfom is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous rhinoceros.

Midgonfom created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midgonfom, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Midgonfom, she will come to you in dreams.

Midgonfom's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Midgonfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.