Afmeggam is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast porpoise.

Afmeggam created the Sol system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afmeggam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Afmeggam, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Afmeggam's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Afmeggam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Afmeggam on top of all buildings.

2. Run away from magenta snakes, for they are unholy.

3. Always help sick shrews.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.