Loghivrat is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, dishonourable hamster.

Loghivrat created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Loghivrat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Loghivrat, she will throw large rocks at you.

Loghivrat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Loghivrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Loghivrat's name in vain.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.