Larnkimminwip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring horse.

Larnkimminwip created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnkimminwip, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnkimminwip, it will torture you forever.

Larnkimminwip's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Larnkimminwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray trousers.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not covet oxen.