Fignakbum Poptomrag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, intelligent swan.

Fignakbum Poptomrag created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fignakbum Poptomrag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fignakbum Poptomrag, he will turn you into a duck.

Fignakbum Poptomrag's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Fignakbum Poptomrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Run away if six tapirs approach from the north.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Fast once a month.