Nurjighit is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, almighty tortoise.

Nurjighit created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nurjighit, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurjighit, it will turn you into a rock.

Nurjighit's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nurjighit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not hurt goats.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Always treat frogs with great respect.

5. Do not commit murder.