Lagtimcet is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, sapient crane.

Lagtimcet created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Lagtimcet, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lagtimcet, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lagtimcet's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Lagtimcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Worship no other gods but Lagtimcet.

5. Never write about cell theory.