Fodlamveen is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, irritating hamster.

Fodlamveen created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodlamveen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fodlamveen, it will be mildly annoyed.

Fodlamveen's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fodlamveen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fodlamveen.

4. Never laugh near manatees.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.