Yarsisquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, kind crocodile.

Yarsisquaf created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarsisquaf, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarsisquaf, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yarsisquaf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yarsisquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always obey Yarsisquaf's priests.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Never pour water over plants.