Targtargwikhim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, vain lobster.

Targtargwikhim created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targtargwikhim, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Targtargwikhim, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Targtargwikhim's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Targtargwikhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never sit near badgers.

4. Always help shrews.

5. Never look at stars.