Cipnuttomt Ganfattip Lunlenten is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tiresome dryad.

Cipnuttomt Ganfattip Lunlenten created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cipnuttomt Ganfattip Lunlenten, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cipnuttomt Ganfattip Lunlenten, it will turn you into a sheep.

Cipnuttomt Ganfattip Lunlenten's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cipnuttomt Ganfattip Lunlenten's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Cipnuttomt Ganfattip Lunlenten.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.