Lagnutkam is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful horse.

Lagnutkam created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagnutkam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagnutkam, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lagnutkam's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Lagnutkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Lagnutkam seven times a day.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.