Fadriptun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, idiotic grasshopper.

Fadriptun created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadriptun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fadriptun, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Fadriptun's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fadriptun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never run near frogs.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.