Quarthivsad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, irritating crane.

Quarthivsad created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quarthivsad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quarthivsad, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quarthivsad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Quarthivsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Put Quarthivsad first in all things.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quarthivsad.

5. Never look at comets.