Gadpastonk is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, pitiless toad.

Gadpastonk created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Gadpastonk, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gadpastonk, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gadpastonk's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gadpastonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always treat ducks with great respect.

5. Do not shave your head.