Stigpasfig Flamfebbit Lammotdud is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing wren.

Stigpasfig Flamfebbit Lammotdud created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigpasfig Flamfebbit Lammotdud, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stigpasfig Flamfebbit Lammotdud, it will turn you into a hamster.

Stigpasfig Flamfebbit Lammotdud's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Stigpasfig Flamfebbit Lammotdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never sit near squirrels.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Always help dolphins in need.