Lablabgep is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish alligator.

Lablabgep created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lablabgep, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lablabgep, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Lablabgep's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Lablabgep's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Lablabgep.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat bananas.