Haslathim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable narwhal.

Haslathim created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haslathim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Haslathim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Haslathim's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Haslathim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always look after injured sharks.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never paint your feet gray.