Figcimbed is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, quiet armadillo.

Figcimbed created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Figcimbed, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Figcimbed, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Figcimbed's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Figcimbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Respect your elders.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Do not eat oranges.