Bellvabpan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, conceited mole.

Bellvabpan created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bellvabpan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bellvabpan, it will manifest in front of you.

Bellvabpan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bellvabpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Run away from magenta swans, for they are unholy.