Jengartabrillmif is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate salamander.

Jengartabrillmif created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jengartabrillmif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jengartabrillmif, he will not care.

Jengartabrillmif's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jengartabrillmif's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Jengartabrillmif on top of all buildings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.