Omtbuszed is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, smart human.

Omtbuszed created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtbuszed, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Omtbuszed, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Omtbuszed's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Omtbuszed's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Omtbuszed loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always help bats in need.