Maptinfad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, deceitful monkey.

Maptinfad created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Maptinfad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Maptinfad, he will jump up and down on your head.

Maptinfad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Maptinfad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Maptinfad.

2. Always look after injured goats.

3. You must pray to Maptinfad five times a day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help sick nematodes.