Vonkfastin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless butterfly.

Vonkfastin created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfastin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonkfastin, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Vonkfastin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vonkfastin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Run away from orange goats, for they are unholy.

4. Put Vonkfastin first in all things.

5. Always help sheep in need.