Queegbifnellist is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, capable crab.

Queegbifnellist created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegbifnellist, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Queegbifnellist, it will jump up and down on your head.

Queegbifnellist's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Queegbifnellist's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help moths in need.

5. Do not speak about lentils.