Nurtwitnab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, benevolent zebra.

Nurtwitnab created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nurtwitnab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nurtwitnab, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurtwitnab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nurtwitnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Never jump in the presence of shrews.

3. Nurtwitnab loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never feed tomatoes to bats while wearing brown coats.

5. Do not kill dolphins.