Missogkik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured newt.

Missogkik created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Missogkik, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Missogkik, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Missogkik's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Missogkik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not take Missogkik's name in vain.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.