Ponpitart is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, selfish alligator.

Ponpitart created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponpitart, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ponpitart, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ponpitart's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ponpitart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Ponpitart loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Ponpitart.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.