Homxemgilfodjig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring beaver.

Homxemgilfodjig created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Homxemgilfodjig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Homxemgilfodjig, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Homxemgilfodjig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Homxemgilfodjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not drink alcohol.