Bamtontan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, capable beaver.

Bamtontan created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamtontan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bamtontan, she will be very unhappy.

Bamtontan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bamtontan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Never paint your hands mauve.

4. Never hurt ducks.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.