Vag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless wombat.

Vag created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vag, it will think nothing of it.

Vag's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Vag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. You must never eat corn.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never think ill of sick rats.

5. Never play with disobedient children.