Janbottan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, emotional meerkat.

Janbottan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janbottan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Janbottan, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Janbottan's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Janbottan's Holy Commandments

1. Janbottan loves goats, so they must be respected.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Janbottan.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never run near porpoises.