Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, smart seal.

Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gupcebpitvabteenvolbell.