Getmobvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, all-knowing bear.

Getmobvonk created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Getmobvonk, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Getmobvonk, he will destroy your favourite star.

Getmobvonk's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Getmobvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not take Getmobvonk's name in vain.

3. Hide from fawn moths for they are unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Getmobvonk.