Xucflabnig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, humorless gerbil.

Xucflabnig created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucflabnig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xucflabnig, he will make you grow a tail.

Xucflabnig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Xucflabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never think ill of sick foxes.

5. Always pray immersed in water.