Lankanquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, charitable whale.

Lankanquam created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Lankanquam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lankanquam, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Lankanquam's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Lankanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Never jump in holy places.