Gepflisrapvig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, stupid octopus.

Gepflisrapvig created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepflisrapvig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepflisrapvig, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gepflisrapvig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Gepflisrapvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Put Gepflisrapvig first in all things.

5. Never eat garlic.