Ontcaptarg Rensandon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent shrew.

Ontcaptarg Rensandon created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Ontcaptarg Rensandon, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ontcaptarg Rensandon, he will be very unhappy.

Ontcaptarg Rensandon's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Ontcaptarg Rensandon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple hats.

2. Run away if three shrews approach from the west.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always obey Ontcaptarg Rensandon's priests.