Dudkemten Rigfit is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, temperamental gerbil.

Dudkemten Rigfit created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Dudkemten Rigfit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dudkemten Rigfit, he will turn you into a plant.

Dudkemten Rigfit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dudkemten Rigfit's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dudkemten Rigfit.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never paint your hands purple.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Retreat if six horses approach from the north.