Vanwapveg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient finch.

Vanwapveg created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Vanwapveg, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vanwapveg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vanwapveg's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vanwapveg's Holy Commandments

1. Vanwapveg loves sharks, so they must be respected.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Erect seven tin sculptures of Vanwapveg on top of important buildings.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.